A Relationship

You meet her, you like her, she likes you, you ask her out, she says yes, you hug, you kiss, you talk on the phone for long hours, you hang out, you get mushy. I guessed I summed up a “serious” relationship? Absolutely not! Here’s why.

The reason why many relationships simply run out of steam is because they overdo the above. After a certain point it gets a little too much for one of the partners and sometimes even both. It certainly doesn't pan out like  "OK, I can’t get more mushy, so bye bye." The above reasons are hidden under the clouds of typical fights, which subconsciously occur, because of nothing more substantial to talk about, than I love you. (Which also, you don’t mean anymore)

When we are in a serious relationship with someone, we are officially theirs and they ours. A prominent part of a serious relationship are the above, however they most certainly aren't the only part my friend. In addition to being a good boyfriend/girlfriend you most certainly have to be a good friend to the person. You have to counsel and guide them, when you think they falter, without the fear of them not liking it, or labeling you daddy. When they need you, you be there for them no questions asked, you ditch any plan that you have, even if your friends feel bad you just ditch it. However understand the difference between when they want you and when they need you. When they want you, you still can sometimes ditch and make time for them, just so they feel nice, but if you have something important to do you do that, when they need you, whatever you have on your hands plays second fiddle. When they are going through a really tough time, console them, cheer them up, and don’t be too judgmental even if you think they need it. Save it for later. If they are rude to you when they go through a tough time, just smile back, tell them you love them, they don’t mean what they say, they shall realize later, at that moment those three words mean the world to them, and in case of a girl, it means more than a box of the finest swiss chocolate, for a guy it means even more.

When you fight, be sure you stand up for your point, but understand the others point as well. Take serious warnings from the fight, but never take the fight too seriously. If they say they never want to talk to you again, be worried, but not too worried. If you fight with your sister and you don’t talk for a month or maybe even two, you can jolly well fight with them and not speak, it’s not the end of the world. You’ll get around it. If it’s your fault you better well make it up. If it’s their fault, they will realize it. Sometimes even when it’s not and you make it up, it’s really nice and well cute. But seriously if you expected to date someone for a long time without getting into a serious fight, you are dating Alice and living in her wonderland. Apologize first; it’s not that big a deal, really. Especially for guys, being rude to your girl and raising your voice, is not legit! In any situation! And raising your hand, it’s just sick. Even if she has committed the biggest crime possible. Respect your girl, like you would your mom, its cliche, but like most clichés it’s true.

Okay, coming to the next part. The physical relationship is an important part of any relationship. Never go too fast, it just isn't right, plus then you have nothing to look forward to. Always remember in this part of the relationship (like all others) the girl is the boss. If she is comfortable with what you’re doing, well great! But if she says no, please control your charged up testosterone and refrain. Don’t get too angry, if she said she’s yours, she will be physically too, just give her, her time. Always make her feel comfortable around you, even generally.

Make something for them once in a while, they feel really nice and then so do you. Trust me this s**t works this way. Even if it isn’t something you bought, just something you made, with that you are making their day. It could be a cheap ring, an expensive dress, a calendar of your favorite team or just a cute drawing.

Give them their space. They have a life. Have trust in them, if they said they love you, they only love you. Becoming a bit possessive is natural and I think needed, don’t overdo it. If you become jealous, its nice, you realize their value. Keep a check on them. Do not stalk them.

Do your share of fun with them. Sing crazy songs, do crazy stuff, take a random bus to some place. Walk for long distances, tell them how you can’t tell them how much they mean to you.

Remember, no relationship can work without compromise and sacrifice, it just can’t. Both big and little compromises have to be made. It could mean not taking up a good job in a far away city, or guys just missing your weekly pilgrimage to the television set, to watch football. It could mean, going shopping with your girl and not understanding shit of what she is doing, or going with your guy, to watch his favorite superhero flick, and not understanding shit of it. It could mean, sacrificing on your sleep just to talk to them because they just want to. It could mean using the money you saved to buy a football jersey, to take them out for dinner. It could even mean, if they text come over, just leaving whatever you’re doing without thinking twice. All this has to stick. Remember, there will be ups and downs, its for you to roll along the downs, so that when you’re on top, you can enjoy the view together.

I would like to end by quoting Maroon 5

“it’s not always rainbows and butterflies, it’s compromise that moves us along”