Paradoxical Perfection

She was like a breath of fresh air,

She was the only face at the fair.

The best thing about the wind was the way it swayed her hair,

Her smile turned her face into a picture free of any care.

Her Voice was an eloquent woodnote,

If only one could hear it on a letter she wrote.

She had a feisty disposition,

But would show affection in a beautiful rendition.

She was not one to hide her emotion,

Her embrace was more powerful than the strongest of potions.

Her eyes were serene like the hills,

With her you don’t need headache pills.

To see her in sorrow was the worst of horrors,

To change that you would spend all your dollars.

She would say nothing and would shut everyone out,

You could see her eyes though,

They would scream and shout

She was unstoppable at work and bowed to no man,

She was the leader of her clan.

She reached the top through hard work and grit,

To go along she had an abundance of wit.

No one could take her for weak,

She could overcome any challenge without the slightest of tweaks.

She didn’t bow to society’s norms,

If they tried to restrain her, she was the fiercest of storms.

Her positivity was an infection,

Helped her friends deal with any rejection.

Her past was the silhouette of her bright future,

Fear and courage were her paradoxical tutors.

She was like a free bird, no aviary could cage her,

If you glimpsed her fury you wouldn’t dare enrage her.

As a person she could be arcane,

She could be your best blessing or your worst bane.

Of eternal bliss she would seem a reflection,

Because she hid her grief in her emotional cross sections

She was lost but knew she was headed in the right direction,

Well, she was an imperfect perfection.

Who is she? Where is she? You may think,

Just look around, you’ll spot her before you blink. 

LOVE IN THE TIME OF PRACTICALITY

What is love in today’s world? Is it just infatuation? Do we just give up too easily or have childhood heartbreaks just made us believe that nothing is going to last forever or are we just too afraid to get hurt easily? I don’t mean any offence to anyone with the above questions because I understand the fact that these are real issues that people face and they are or can be tough to deal with.

  Too many people I see these days break up for reasons which they can easily work around. Yes of course it’s easy for me to say looking in from the outside and ofcourse they must have worked on it and only then decided to call it quits in most cases, but hear me out before you make your conclusions on my opinions.

 I have seen people break up because they both are moving to different cities and they know they can’t manage long distance relationships. They have never tried managing one in their life, yet they somehow know they cannot manage one. One of the reasons I feel couples do this is because they prefer ending on a good a note, and have happy last memories of the relationship, rather than stoop down to the clichéd notions of mistrust, frequenting each other with questions like who were you with? Where were you? And the like, and no matter what the other person replies you will never truly be satisfied with the answer even if you try and look like it. Then there is the distance and not seeing each other for the longest of times, some people, though I don’t think this is true for most (or maybe I am wrong), have even said that they fear that what if while they are away from each other something may happen with someone else and them. They give examples of college parties and getting drunk with different people and then things may go south. Even if it’s not that then they say it may just be the fact that someone else may be able to be there all the time or at least much more than the person you are dating and that can just lead to attraction or something of the kind. Given all these reasons, this argument does make sense to an extent but what I have to counter it also does make sense, at least to me.

Firstly everyone wants to end the relationship on a good note but then they want to stay friends also, or okay let’s not label it as a friendship, they want to stay in touch. Obviously they do, just because they decide to end a relationship with the use of a few words, the love, care, want and need they have for each other will not disappear into the ether, at least not immediately. That would be okay, but if you think the same usual problems won’t spring up then in most cases you will be proven wrong. You will still ask each other (probably not in a very open manner, rather you veil your questions, but you both know what’s going on) what’s going on and you will still not like that he has started chilling with someone else or vice versa. The love as I said is still there and it’s not going anywhere anytime soon.  And if it really has to end this will end in a bad way only, not because it’s your fault or theirs, its because as long as it ends in a good way there is hope and where there is hope and also love, you will keep coming back for more and the cycle will keep on repeating till it breaks the bond and either the hope or the love or both go away, and isn’t not wanting to end it in a bad way the reason why you ended it in the first place.

Secondly, yes the distance and not seeing each other for a long time is a problem. It’s a big problem that you have to deal with if you choose to. On the bright side though it makes meeting each other all the more special and that is a big bonus. Maybe you won’t even have the usual bickering that couples do because both of you are overwhelmed with joy and love when you see each other. Having said that the experience of long distance relationship can be quite an emotional rollercoaster, but if you really do love each other why not enjoy the highs and lows together rather than alone.

The other reason why I see people breaking up is because one or both of them feel like there are far too many more important things that need their utmost attention right now and they can’t give enough time to each other and to the relationship as a whole. That could mean not meeting each other that often, not having the time to solve issues that you are facing, maybe not having time to do something special for the other person, etc. They may say that right now they need to focus on getting that job, I have also heard people say they are going through too much that they allegedly can’t avoid and have to deal with that they choose to avoid the relationship or put it on a break at least, some have said they need to sort out their grades and can’t avoid any distractions and many other reasons of the sort. They may feel that rather than put their relationship on palisades of distractions, it’s better to give it a quick painless death.  I feel in this situation the first question you need to ask yourself is if you still love the person? If you do not then tell them outright that what the case is. You may feel you are doing the right thing by not being so brutally honest, but I feel that you are going to cause them much more hurt and that too, over a prolonged period of time, by giving them hope where there isn’t any. Whenever you do get that job for example, they will be back trying to win you and will be befuddled why they can’ If however, you do love the person then be true to the bond you have with them rather than pushing it on the back burner. The truth of life is that there is always going to be something or the other which at that moment in your life will be the most important thing, and if we go by the above mentioned logic then you will never be able to commit to a relationship, as something will always demand your attention, the relationship to which you give so much and which gives even more to you will be a constant source of happiness, something/someone that always has your back and that is more than worth it for you to deal with.

Having said this, there are also times when people know that its over from their side or from both the sides and yet they try and make it work again and again but never seem to be able to do so. They both know that they are not meant for each other, that it won’t work out as they have tried enough times, that the love is just not there anymore and yet they continue trying no matter how badly it ends each time they never seem to let it go. Maybe it’s because of fear of the unknown. He or she has been there for me all this while, they are so heavily involved in everyday life and situations and have been for a very long time that you just can’t imagine life without them. If however you do know in your heart of hearts that there is no hope of reigniting the flame of working out the differences, if you have tried enough and each time had the same result with no improvement, then it’s time to walk away before the situation gets toxic. Take the good with you, the memories, the things you have learnt, etc. Leave all the bad behind and move on. That’s the only way you are going to be fair to the other person. More importantly it’s the only way you can be fair to yourself, and loving yourself and your own happiness is highly underrated in the 21^st century. If you are not happy yourself then how can you make/keep someone else happy? Food for thought.

Finally, the various reasons people give of why they are afraid to get into relationships. The main one here is ‘what if it does not work out?’  They are afraid of investing  their emotions, trust and love in someone and something which may not last forever and when and if it ends, they are fearful of being shattered. I however believe that in life getting hurt is inevitable whether or not you get into a relationship or not. Everyone is going to hurt you sometime or the other, not because they want to but because everyone is human and we all mistakes and our mistakes be it in any manner are going to hurt someone. We are not gods and we all have our imperfections, but if you do love someone then be with them no matter what, because the amount of hurt you could get from them is nothing when compared to the amount of happiness you could get from them, you may call it a risk, but it’s a calculated risk. Everyone is going to hurt you, you just have to find the ones worth taking the hit for.

 Further even if you break up, its fine. Its crushing at the time and it hurts like hell but life will go on and so will you. You would have had certain really happy moments and phases in the relationship which will make it all worth it you move on.  The people who are meant to be with you will come to you, just be bold enough to open your arms and not hold too tightly when you do embrace them. Everything happens for a reason, always remember that.

 The other common reason I hear is that they do not want to enter relationships due to their past. They have been hurt really bad in the past and that has taken away their trust and faith in relationships and people. But just because something did not work out in the past with someone doesn’t mean it won’t in the future with someone else. No matter how bad your past relationships were, what you should see is the fact that you would have learnt something from those relationships and mistakes you made in them to better deal with situations that arise in relationships and as such have a better chance of making thing work this time around. Don’t be impudent towards someone by comparing them to other people, respect each one for their individuality. You have to be positive and life will be a world full of opportunities, be pessimistic and it there will only be darkness.  Don’t let your past drag you down , make it a silhouette of a brighter future.

In conclusion, I just want to say that I don’t treat any of the above mentioned reasons lightly at all but the point I try to make here is that love triumphs every time if you want it to. Don’t decide on matters of love from your head, that’s where you will find logic, practicality and rationale. That’s not what love is about, instead decide on them from the heart, because that’s where instinct, feeling, courage and beauty is. That’s what love is, it’s not in your head but in your heart and your veins. Let your heart decide the destination and the mind will find you a way to walk on. Cheers!

WHO ARE WE?

I am pretty sure all of us have heard a lot about women rights, gender equality, etc in the past few months and some of us are a little fed up of the whole topic by now. It is precisely for that reason that I will talk about it. I won’t bring in stats and numbers to make my point, because neither am I accurately aware of them nor am I the best person to explain them and moreover I do believe that the issue is much larger than that, its basic mentality of society that needs to be questioned.

Let me start by talking the tone most of us would understand, I will give you selfish reasons of why we should not discriminate against women in any way at all:

  Just to put into perspective the important and pivotal role that women play in our lives and how they touch it in truly magnificent ways.  When you are low, going through a tough time, totally down and out then a woman will comfort you, she will try and cheer you up but at the same time they are not in the habit to sugar coat words, they will give it to you as it is and will be brutally honest. It is because they are sagacious and they know that if they truly want to help us out they have to show us the true picture and they are not afraid of telling us our mistakes or our reactions to their criticism.       They are the true mirror that we need in our lives, showing us the amount of shit we are in but at the same time also revealing that we have it in us to overcome the mess. Of course I don’t believe that the above is their most important role or their best quality, far from it, but it’s one I really admire. Maybe I shouldn't have started out with this point as it makes my perspective look a like a typical one of that women are only good at this,but read on I have destroyed that perspective myself, or atleast tried to. Women are much more than this but this is one of their many qualities that i really admire and I felt like starting off with it.

  Whenever I hear about women being denied positions at work or their capabilities being undermined in any sphere of life, be it school, college, work, home or society in general then it’s me who questions our basic IQ level as a species.  A lot of people say that women are equal to men, but I think they are better.
  They are much more practical without a doubt; they know how to spend money better and also to get the best price for things, so companies should not  discriminate against women if they truly want to succeed, on the contrary they should boost their growth.

  I strongly advocate higher inclusion of women in armed forces around the world and at higher echelons as well. Reason being, that if a nation shows it trusts its women to defend its nation then it has a trickle-down effect on the society as a whole, people will start seeing women in  different light.

Women deserve equality in relationships as well. Be it father- daughter, brother – sister, girlfriend-boyfriend or husband and wife. They are the bedrock of the relationship; they are the ones who keep it going through the good and bad times.  Without them the relationship would not survive more than a season.

  Furthermore they deserve the freedom to go out at night, alone or in groups, wearing whatever they desire and with absolute freedom from fear. Imagine a club without any women, not so appealing is it now?

  Above I have listed some of the benefits of stopping discrimination against women. However even if none of the above “benefits” were true, who are we to stop them getting anything. So here is my main point. Who are we to allow women to work? Who are we to stop them doing the same? Who are we to raise our hands on their skin? Who are we to include them in the workforce or exclude them from driving a damn car? Who are we to stop them going out at night? Who are we to allow them equal rights as us to our father’s property? Who are we to force physical relations on them? Who are we to stop them giving an opinion on matters of the house, the nation, the economy, etc?  Who are we to stop them growing at work? Who are we to stop them drinking alcohol or smoking a cigarette? Who are we to stop our daughter to spend a night at her friends place but to allow our son to do just that?

  A lot of people say that gender equality is about giving women equal rights and status as men. But I could not disagree more. For me gender equality is attained when we don’t give women equal rights and nor do they have to take the same, but it should be something so basic to humanity as a whole that they are born with it. The moment we say we will give women equal rights; it automatically states that we are in a higher position and that defeats the purpose.

For me the greatest show of our “manhood” is in chivalry. Never raise your hands on a woman, never abuse a woman, no matter what the provocation (should follow this with everyone to be honest but especially women), never make her feel smaller than you (she is so not.), rise up to her and never ever drag her down. Respect the women in your life, cherish them and be grateful for them, for you have no idea how much life would suck without them. Lastly never drag her to a point where she has to retaliate, only because I think you love your safety and “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”.

A big thank you to all the women who are and have ever been in my life, you’ve made me the man I am today and I will be forever grateful.  Women are beautiful, women are the best and they will always be better than us.

All in.

No I am not talking about poker (more of  a ‘ teen patti’ guy ), but life. It may sound off the beaten path but a rational approach to life and how you live it is not something I recommend. I would even go as far as saying that I don’t even recommend a practical approach to life. Why you may wonder? Because in these times rational and practical are so overplayed it makes me livid. Thinking twice before doing something makes sense sometimes (NOT ALWAYS) but thinking seven, eight times before doing something and then not doing it anyway doesn’t even begin to make sense. Everyone these days seems to be living in fear. It’s a ‘what if?’ phobia. What if I leave this job that I resent so much? What if I tell him how I feel and he says no? Worse still what if he says yes and it falls apart later on. What if I tell people honestly how I feel about them? What if I show them how I really feel? I say balls to that.

    People these days put on masks to hide how they truly feel. Some fear if they reveal their inner feelings and emotions to people it leaves them vulnerable to emotional exploitation. I am not denying that it does and you will always meet people who do that to you, its inevitable and that’s bad. But what’s worse is when you bottle up your feelings inside you and open up to no one. Especially when people are hurt by someone close to them they isolate their inner self from the world and that’s the saddest thing that can happen to a person. There is so much joy to find in this world and you just cannot rid yourself of that, its criminal to do so.

Trust people, is what I suggest. Not everyone is out there to take advantage of you opening up to them. Follow your heart. That’s a cliché probably as old as time itself but like most clichés its true and heavily underrated. If you feel like you are attracted to someone or maybe even in love with them, tell them no matter what the situation, if you don’t try something how can you know how it will work out. Maybe they reject your feelings, maybe they say yes and you get together only for them to betray you and hurt you later on to fall apart (this is where most people stop the maybes and hence don’t pursue what they feel), maybe it’s the best thing that ever happens to you and you stay together for a lifetime, maybe you just gel along really well and you gain a friend for a lifetime regardless of being together or not. Life is full of beautiful opportunities and there is plenty to be optimistic about and yet here we sit as rational people giving the cons far more importance than the pros. Doesn’t being rational involve giving equal importance to all aspects?

Maybe your heart tells you to dance like there is no one watching when in a club but then you worry about what people will say that you don’t act your age or something of the sort. A little heads up for you guys, do whatever the heck you want to because even if you stand silently in a corner completely still people will judge you. Guess what? They don’t matter. What they think does not matter. What they say does not matter. What matters is the people who you are friends and family with and they know you, the true you and that’s why they are with you. So my friend, if you want to do Bhangra on EDM then please go do it. If you want to leave your jobs for a passion go do it. If you want to tell someone to mind their own business, do it. If you want to go on a solo trip to some far remote corner but people may call you a psycho, don’t care and go do it. If you want to chill with people who your other friends don’t like, just go do it. You are the king of yourself and no one can challenge you.

Take me for example; I like to fill humor in a situation when I meet new people. That’s my ice breaker with them. Even when I get to know it fill conversations with ‘bakchodi’. Most people think I am just a clown who is incapable of having any serious conversations. Others think that I am funny but I can be very annoying. But once they get to know me they know that I can talk about love, life and work like I was Rumi reborn. But my sense of humor (or a lack of it) is a part of me that is essential to me and I will never forego it no matter what people think. I am the king of me.

One thing other than this that people do is even once they enter a relationship, whatever the nature of that relationship may be, whether a friendship, a boyfriend, a parent, etc is to hold back and go via a supposedly “planned approach”. Some don’t tell even their partners their true feelings or don’t to certain things for fear of the other person not liking it or looking stupid.  Or they can’t give sorting out problems enough time because well they need to sort their job out or they have other major problems going on. Yes I understand, one particular relationship or thing cannot be all there is to your life and everything has its importance and we need to respect that but my only advice here is to go all in. go all in, in every aspect and scenario of life. Go all in at work, go all in at home, go all in with your partner, give everything, everything that you have. Sounds exhausting? It will be. But it will be amazing, beautiful and totally worth it. If you feel like dropping in on your friends place after a fight but have ego, then kick that to the curb and go straight off leaving everything that you have. If you want to be expressive about your feelings for a partner but they are not the same then explicitly express your emotions by over the top methods or by underplaying it, whatever you feel is best. If the other person is not the same it doesn’t mean that they won’t like your gesture and even if they don’t you’d be surprised how much you like it regardless. If you feel like dating someone then date them, if you want to hook up then hook up with as many people as you want, as long as ofcourse you are not lying to anyone and the other person also wants the same thing. As the great Rumi put it:

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

I think I have made my point but let me wrap this up by just saying a few last points. Firstly do not ever act out of guilt, that does no one any favours and plus you have no need to be guilty because no one has a right over what you choose to do. The only person that has that right is you. Secondly let go of your inhibitions, if you never try you will never know and you are not telling me that staying away and not showing your true feelings is a path that leads to no hurt and only joy. If that’s the case then do that by all means, but we both know that it’s not. Thirdly please get to know yourself, your true core. That’s the only way you will ever be able to judge who you will get along with and who you won’t.  The only way to get to know you is to have a little ‘me time.’ Go on a solo trip or just sit at home and read a book and disconnect yourself from the chaos around you and get lost in the beautiful chaos inside you, be the Alice of your wonderland and find yourself and trust me you will not regret. You are amazing just the way you are and anyone who tells you otherwise just does not matter. Shine like the universe is yours, because it is.  If you want to be held then you have to open your arms. Live life as if everything is totally in your favour.  Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment. Go all in and never hold back.

Flight

Flying 36,000 feet above the ground the world below seemed microscopic. With earphones plugged in my ears, originally to keep me from listening to a very annoying man sitting next to me who had started snoring before the seat belt sign had been turned on, I passed between worlds all of which were in my head.  As I looked outside the window, it was pitch black. Acres and acres of nothingness. I transcend into a philosophical mood wondering where my life is heading, when I’ll do something I truly love or rather when I will even find out what my calling is and live that mystical perfect life.

  As I was lost in my thoughts, looking out into the nothingness, I noticed a small flicker of yellow outside my window. It was so puny that it seemed like a firefly, just floating out there separated from the swarm. However almost immediately the swarm did come and within a matter of seconds all you can see out of the window, all that way down below is yellow. A small city is passing me by, 36,000 feet below, lakhs of people there and it’s a exhilarating feeling and it made me introspect at the same time.

  Here I was wondering about problems in my life which now suddenly felt petty. I could see beneath me a place with so many people who probably are going about their business regardless of the problems they may be facing. A yellow dot may reflect a car going on the road where a wife has to leave the house for work without resolving the fight she was just involved in with her loved ones, because that could wait but the meeting she had could not. A dot may also be a house with a family living in it where the husband was probably planning a surprise meal for his wife and wondering whether to bake the potatoes or to boil them. It made me a think whether the problem is a minute one or a colossal one; tide and time stop for no one, so why should we not keep moving on?

  It was like those fleeting lights were in cahoots to make me realize that I really have no need to be so sombre about my life. I being a huge believer in positive thinking, thought to myself, good times will come only if I believe they will. The lines from the movie ‘Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara’ rang in my head.

“Jab Jab Dard Ka badal chahya

Jab jab gham ka sehra lehraya

Jab jab aansu palko tak laaya

Jab Ye tanha dil ghabraya

Humne dil ko samjhaya

Dil aakhir tu kyu rota hai?

Duniya mei yun he hota hai.

Yeh jo gehre sannate hain

Waqt ne sabko baatein hain.

Thora gham hai sabka qissa

Thori dhoop hai  sabka hissa

Aankh teri bekaar he nam hai

Har pal ek naya mausam hai

Kyun tu aise pal khota hai

Dil aakhir tu kyu rota hai”

  The air hostess asking me if I would like something briefly distracted me and brought me back to this world momentarily before  I was back again in my own world. Its not as if everytime I look out I delve into my thoughts, I have always been a very quiet person (unless with friends and in the mood to fool around, then I am quite the opposite) and that silence hits it peak during journeys. Since childhood I have hated sleeping during traveling.

  Once travelling by road to Udaipur, which was a 12 hour journey back then, I loved looking out at the forts along the way wondering what battles were fought there ( I am a history geek so all the more reason to wonder), or when I saw a mandir on top of the hill I used to wonder what mythological tale lies behind that mandir, maybe lighting struck there, or perhaps a god once traversed those paths. During that particular journey I know for a fact that all I said during those 14 hours was the occasional yes or no and of course informing my dad when I needed to pee. For me the cliche, "the journey is more important than the destination", has always and will always be quite literally true. 

   Anyway, I returned to my thoughts following this brief trip down memory lane. I was a little more hopeful of my not so bad situation. I had been through a lot of mental and emotional turmoil recently and its taken a toll on me in more ways than one. A switch had been flipped inside my head and made me a little crazy to be honest and everything did seem hollow and I had lost sight of who I truly was and somehow that feeling of putting on a mask everytime with someone was very taxing.

  However I sense myself moving past all that and gaining a lot more clarity in my thoughts and I believe that happier times are coming and they will be here to stay. In retrospect all that I have been through has made me wiser, now the sun will rise and joy will come.

“Why fret what’s going to happen

If nothing else, experiences will happen.

Look into a teary eye sometime

A hidden smile is bound to happen.” 

Coalesce

He started to whistle as he crossed the street. Today was going to be a good day he thought. It had to be. For far too long the days had been the same. He would wake up go to work get back and think about how different he wanted his life to be but then carry on anyway. But off late he felt a change in the tide he felt himself moving towards the life he hoped for, nothing significant had happened but the he saw little signs here and there growing ubiquitous and today there was a smell in the breeze (which usually made him think of all the pollution in the city and the garbage and even death on occasions) which reminded him of the open country and probably waterfalls and just everything related to nature for some mysterious reasons.  Today was going to be a good day he thought.

  She left his house in tears. It didn’t work again. She wanted him back so bad, he didn’t. It had been 11 months since they broke up, or rather since he walked out on her with another woman. That was a bolt from the blue, they had been planning their vacation and were due to leave in a week when suddenly he dropped this bomb.  She felt heartbroken, shattered and since then has been trying to win that guy back. He’s tried to blow her off by humiliating her, insulting her and abusing her but she would not go away.  This time it had been 7 months since they had spoken and she was taking one step forward but two steps back during this time with respect to moving on. So she decided to try one last time, maybe time had changed his feelings. They didn’t. Thus she left the house in tears. Today was going to be the same day as yesterday she thought.

  He was wearing his new Jacket today as he entered this café to pick up his favorite caramel flavored cold coffee. The smell of the café and the food that was being made got to him though and he decided to grab a bite. He ordered waffles and ice cream to go with his coffee. Today was going to be a good day he felt it, today was going to be a good day he thought. 

  As she was walking aimlessly on the street wiping her tears away thinking about how much time of her life she had wasted trying to get something which was never hers to begin with and how she failed to understand that and also wondering if after a few days, weeks or months she would end up doing the same thing again. She was tired of going after that person, then being heartbroken and repeating the same thing again. She needed a wind of change, something or someone to tell her that better days were coming. As she was walking along the footpath she saw a woman, maybe in her mid-thirties. She looked really very happy, she was walking along the road with her headphones on. She had this strange sense of magnetism about her and when she was looking at her she felt a kind of attraction towards this woman for a reason she was trying to find out. Maybe she just looked pretty in her beige overcoat with a grey scarf going over it, maybe it was the boots she was wearing or was it her exceptionally pretty smile? No. It was the fact that to her she seemed really happy without any person or thing causing that happiness, which is what attracted her.  It may very well be the case that she was going to meet her boyfriend and that’s why she was happy or for some materialistic reason, but to her at that moment she seemed happy without a cause and that triggered a switch somewhere deep inside her. She suddenly thought that one person who didn’t deserve the slightest place in her life could not dictate her happiness. She had a lot to be happy about, she was one of those who could keep her personal and professional life apart and was really doing well at work. It wasn’t also as if she wasn’t pretty. She was tall, fit and was quite aware of the fact that she’s attractive. Apart from that she knew she had really good qualities as a person and a lot of people would like being in her company. That was it, a switch had triggered and she was on her way, on her way to happiness and this time there would be no backward steps. Today was going to be a different day she thought.

  

She crossed a café she really liked and decided to treat herself for her new found and long overdue happiness.  As she was sitting at her table eating her food, suddenly something caught her eye. It was the corner table next to the window. A man was sitting alone going through his meal of waffles and ice cream. She had seen him somewhere, somewhere a long time ago. She tried hard to remember, while the man totally oblivious to this woman observing him continued to stuff his belly with his food, which he was more than enjoying.  Then it suddenly hit her that he was a person from her school but she still could not recall his name, partly because his face was slightly hidden behind a pillar. Then it all came like a wave.  His name was Sarthak; they had both shared a decent friendship back in the day which ended for a very stupid reason (like most high school friendships end). It was something on the lines of, he said xyz about her and she said abc about him and they were both told this by other people. So yeah, stupid to say the least. While she was drowned in her flashback, Sarthak had also seen her. Now as they both became conscious that they had seen each other they passed an awkward smile acknowledging each other. Seeing that they both were alone and now they probably had to talk a little atleast having recognized each other, he gestured her to come to his table and she awkwardly obeyed. Today was going to be weird day they began to think.

  

   It had been over 2 hours since they had been talking in that café. It began with the usual pleasantries of how they’ve been and what’s been going on. They then discussed why they had stopped talking for a reason which now seemed nothing less than laughable almost 8 years down the line. They gossiped about what their friends from back in school were upto. Time flew and it subtly hit both of them that even though they were never really the best friends kind of thing in school they did share a certain spark that made them instantly enjoy each other’s company. Sarthak asked her if she had the time they could take a walk around and continue their conversation. She had all the time in the world for something that took her mind off all the negativity she had been surrounded by recently and this was doing much more for her than that, she was actually having fun. So they split the bill and left the café for a walk around.

    Sarthak shifted the nostalgic nature of the talk to the here and the now. He asked her what she had been upto, and Nandini told him about her job, family, apartment, her love for cats and also for movies, basically everything barring her relationship. That was not something she wanted to revisit just yet.

    As they crossed a baker, enjoying the smell of fresh muffins, Sarthak told her about his job and how he was planning to get out of it. When asked what he planned to do, he told her he always wanted to be a writer and was going to give that a real push.  When pressed about if there was any particular stimulus which made him take the radical decision of quitting his job he answered “There was no particular stimulus as such, it was just that he was just so tired of misconceiving of what else his life could have been and he finally decided to act on it.”  They crossed a government building which was built in the early 20^th century and briefly shifted topic to admire the architecture before Nandini returned by asking him about how his love life had been.  Surprisingly to her he answered pretty readily telling her he had been in a couple of relationships which were nice at the time but they fizzled out with time. He then asked her the same question to which she said she will talk about that another time but when pressed a little she said she wasn’t involved with anyone presently.  Sarthak decided not to press the matter any further for now sensing the discomfort.

    They spoke for about 10 minutes more before she had to leave. They exchanged numbers though and decided to keep in touch. They both then went their respective ways. Today was a good day he thought. Today was a good day she thought; sometimes stars decide to reflect in puddles in the dirt she thought.

   They didn’t meet for a week post their impromptu meeting as they were occupied in their lives. They texted everyday though, talking about anything under the sun. They discussed music, movies, sport, politics, school days, philosophy and even reality TV. They finally did meet the next weekend and went out for a drink. Sarthak felt a sense of comfort around her and more importantly her take on how life should be was inspiring in a certain way. Her principle was simple, if something does not give you happiness then don’t do it. He had heard this cliché a million times before but it just somehow made sense when she said, maybe because she was the only one who followed it herself according to him. However that’s when Nandini told him about her relationship and how she struggled to deal with it. He thought that she was a girl symbolic of a paradox, as she herself in one of the most important areas of life was not getting happiness from something but did it for much longer than she should have, but then he guessed everyone has a weak spot and that’s just human nature, our wants sometimes blind our needs and happiness and that’s just normal. 

  They spent the evening drinking LIIT’s and talking about love and how relationships in modern times were increasingly becoming feckless and usually end with a feeling of rancor.  As the night went on they fell more and more in tune with each other. Its like their thoughts and opinions on most things were aligned. They felt really comfortable and happy around each other and could truly be themselves.  He offered to drive her home that night so that they could continue their conversation in the car and so they did. Old English songs from the late 90’s were playing ever so lightly in the background as the street lights lit up their path home. She felt as if she was really lucky that her ex turned her down that day, otherwise she would never had met Sarthak again and to him he would be just another douche from high school. Sarthak on the other hand had no qualms about admitting to himself that he was falling for this woman and hard. She was ever so encouraging about his idea of quitting his job and to pursue his dream to become a writer. He himself was sure that he needed to do that but they were understandably a lot of moments of self-doubt and whenever he spoke about the same to her she just said something that made his doubt seem quite stupid and petty. As he dropped her off that night, he wondered how Nandini felt and how she would react if he told her of his feelings. However he wasn’t one to keep things bottled up inside and decided that the next time they meet he would tell her hiws feelings for her. He did. That was a great day he thought.

   They spoke for the next two weeks everyday on the phone and via texts, and then the day came when they were going to meet and Sarthak decided to tell her evertything. They were in the car, going to have some breakfast, when suddenly Sarthak said. “ I need to say something to you.” “Yes, of course, Go ahead”. She replied. He tried to control the butterflies in his stomach, but gave up failing miserably and decided just to go for it. This is what he said.

   “I have thanked your ex-boyfriend everyday since the day we met at that café and probably will for the rest of my life. (Her eyes grew big and her facial expression was a very perplexed one). Not because of the nature of your relationship but because he refused to take you back (eyes grew bigger still).Because if he did take you back we would not have met and I would not have been the happiest man in the universe, that day started a virtuous circle for me and I hope it never ends (Eyes shrunk slightly, but her jaw dropped, it was hard for Sarthak to not be distracted by all this). I have fallen for you Nandini and I fall for you more each day, I can’t help it and I don’t want to also. I love being in love with you (still the same look).  I would do anything to keep you happy and to be with you for as long as I can. I don’t know how you feel and I will not pile on but I have to let you know how I feel. I love you. I love you more than anyone can love anyone. I would empty the ocean with a spoon for you and would do it over and over again if it gave you a smile. Praying, hiding my feelings, suppressing them or denying them won’t knock you out of my head. I will always be there whenever you call me, without reservation. Every cell in your body is worth it (awkward smile coming on). Your presence in my life is enchanting and I want you to enchant me for as long as possible. I’ll be anything you need; I’ll be everything you need and more. I want us to live these days that we’ve been having and I want to live them everyday. I prepared this speech and this how much I remember by the way so a response would be good now.” He saw the awkward smile grow wider still.

  It had been a month since they had been dating. He had just put in his papers at work and they were going to celebrate. They obviously decided to go to the same café where they met, which then started this series of events.  Through a series of random events, conversations, drives, dinners etc they somehow coalesced. That wasn’t a good day though, that was miraculous day the y thought. 

Kasol- A little Heaven in the hills.

Bilaspur, on the drive to Kasol.

Before my first visit to Kasol I had heard a lot about the place and the kind of people that go there. I myself don’t like to stay high all the time and am a little skeptical of people that do. So when I first decided to go to Kasol in 2014 I was a little scared of what kind of time we would have there in the middle of hippies who are always in another zone, how misplaced my fears were I had no idea.

  I have been to Kasol twice in the last 2 years and I have a dream to buy a house there (damn you HP government!).  Basically the best way to go to Kasol is via road from Delhi. It’s a 11 hour drive but the time is worth it. You have amazing dhabas in the plains to eat from and once you enter the lap of the mountains it’s a 6 hour drive through the hills and its one of the most scenic drives that you will take. Up and down through the hills and valleys you will pass above a damn with the water falling down to the depths with furious velocity and foam rising like clouds, you will pass through tiny villages, the road is almost always parallel to the beautiful Beas and later Parvati river, so along with the cool mountain air there will be the soothing sound of gushing water.

Once you reach Kasol you really wonder what all the fuss was about in the first place. This town is no longer than 2km in length at max. However once you check into the hotel (I recommend Alpine) you slowly begin to get dissolved in the environment around you. At any spot in the town you can hear the water of the river flowing at a ferocious speed. First about the food, its one of the best thing about Kasol. Anywhere you go you will find good food. Due to the high Israeli population you will find good Israeli cuisine almost anywhere. Also there is good Italian food available at Little Italy (where you can also get some good stuff) and at Evergreen Café also. Do not forget to try the Nutella Waffles at the German Bakery, they are to die for.

The bridge to go to Chalal from Kasol

Now coming to the things to do there and this is regardless of whether you smoke up or not. Firstly if you are not much of a trekker but still do enjoy the quiet, Chalal Is the perfect place for you. It’s a 15 min walk from Kasol, all right beside the river. You can just sit next to the river at this peaceful spot and do nothing at all and just revel in nature around you. However if you do like trekking, Kasol becomes all the more heavenly for you. There are 3 main destinations to trek to, Namely Malana, Tosh and Kheerganga. Firstly Malana, this is a village famous for its high quality hash (Malana supercream), however the view here is quite magnificent. It’s a 1 hour drive from Kasol and then a 1.5 hour hike to reach Malana, there are places to stay up there however you can go and come in a single day aswell. Next up is Tosh, which is much more European than Israeli and the people here believe themselves to be descendents of the Greek emperor Alexander. The food here is amazing. You can reach here either via a 1 hour drive or a 30 min drive plus 45 minutes hiking through the forest.

 

The trek to Malana

I had to save the best for last, Kheerganga. Firstly this is a 30min drive from Kasol plus a 5.5-8hour trek uphill depending on your walking speed.

Yes, its long but trust me it’s a stairway to heaven. There are 2-3 places to eat in between so don’t worry on that count, plus there will a lot of other travelers so it wont be isolated also. There are long stretches of flat paths accompanied by the frequent short stretches of steep climbs. You have to literally walk through mini waterfalls at certain points but not for a second will you regret taking the long walk. Also there will be mountain furry dogs who will help you every step of the way, literally. So about a dozen dogs will take turns to accompany you on different stretches of the journey, so if you ever take the wrong turn they start barking, and they also protect you from other animals if you happen to be trekking at night, all you have to do in return is feed them parle-g. Once you reach up you can either stay in a tent or in rooms or in a common dorm, the food here is also amazing and the main attraction of this place is the hot springs, so don’t forget to take a dip. Oh there is also this view.

So what  are you waiting for? Pack your bags and go to the little heaven in the hills.