All in.

No I am not talking about poker (more of  a ‘ teen patti’ guy ), but life. It may sound off the beaten path but a rational approach to life and how you live it is not something I recommend. I would even go as far as saying that I don’t even recommend a practical approach to life. Why you may wonder? Because in these times rational and practical are so overplayed it makes me livid. Thinking twice before doing something makes sense sometimes (NOT ALWAYS) but thinking seven, eight times before doing something and then not doing it anyway doesn’t even begin to make sense. Everyone these days seems to be living in fear. It’s a ‘what if?’ phobia. What if I leave this job that I resent so much? What if I tell him how I feel and he says no? Worse still what if he says yes and it falls apart later on. What if I tell people honestly how I feel about them? What if I show them how I really feel? I say balls to that.

    People these days put on masks to hide how they truly feel. Some fear if they reveal their inner feelings and emotions to people it leaves them vulnerable to emotional exploitation. I am not denying that it does and you will always meet people who do that to you, its inevitable and that’s bad. But what’s worse is when you bottle up your feelings inside you and open up to no one. Especially when people are hurt by someone close to them they isolate their inner self from the world and that’s the saddest thing that can happen to a person. There is so much joy to find in this world and you just cannot rid yourself of that, its criminal to do so.

Trust people, is what I suggest. Not everyone is out there to take advantage of you opening up to them. Follow your heart. That’s a cliché probably as old as time itself but like most clichés its true and heavily underrated. If you feel like you are attracted to someone or maybe even in love with them, tell them no matter what the situation, if you don’t try something how can you know how it will work out. Maybe they reject your feelings, maybe they say yes and you get together only for them to betray you and hurt you later on to fall apart (this is where most people stop the maybes and hence don’t pursue what they feel), maybe it’s the best thing that ever happens to you and you stay together for a lifetime, maybe you just gel along really well and you gain a friend for a lifetime regardless of being together or not. Life is full of beautiful opportunities and there is plenty to be optimistic about and yet here we sit as rational people giving the cons far more importance than the pros. Doesn’t being rational involve giving equal importance to all aspects?

Maybe your heart tells you to dance like there is no one watching when in a club but then you worry about what people will say that you don’t act your age or something of the sort. A little heads up for you guys, do whatever the heck you want to because even if you stand silently in a corner completely still people will judge you. Guess what? They don’t matter. What they think does not matter. What they say does not matter. What matters is the people who you are friends and family with and they know you, the true you and that’s why they are with you. So my friend, if you want to do Bhangra on EDM then please go do it. If you want to leave your jobs for a passion go do it. If you want to tell someone to mind their own business, do it. If you want to go on a solo trip to some far remote corner but people may call you a psycho, don’t care and go do it. If you want to chill with people who your other friends don’t like, just go do it. You are the king of yourself and no one can challenge you.

Take me for example; I like to fill humor in a situation when I meet new people. That’s my ice breaker with them. Even when I get to know it fill conversations with ‘bakchodi’. Most people think I am just a clown who is incapable of having any serious conversations. Others think that I am funny but I can be very annoying. But once they get to know me they know that I can talk about love, life and work like I was Rumi reborn. But my sense of humor (or a lack of it) is a part of me that is essential to me and I will never forego it no matter what people think. I am the king of me.

One thing other than this that people do is even once they enter a relationship, whatever the nature of that relationship may be, whether a friendship, a boyfriend, a parent, etc is to hold back and go via a supposedly “planned approach”. Some don’t tell even their partners their true feelings or don’t to certain things for fear of the other person not liking it or looking stupid.  Or they can’t give sorting out problems enough time because well they need to sort their job out or they have other major problems going on. Yes I understand, one particular relationship or thing cannot be all there is to your life and everything has its importance and we need to respect that but my only advice here is to go all in. go all in, in every aspect and scenario of life. Go all in at work, go all in at home, go all in with your partner, give everything, everything that you have. Sounds exhausting? It will be. But it will be amazing, beautiful and totally worth it. If you feel like dropping in on your friends place after a fight but have ego, then kick that to the curb and go straight off leaving everything that you have. If you want to be expressive about your feelings for a partner but they are not the same then explicitly express your emotions by over the top methods or by underplaying it, whatever you feel is best. If the other person is not the same it doesn’t mean that they won’t like your gesture and even if they don’t you’d be surprised how much you like it regardless. If you feel like dating someone then date them, if you want to hook up then hook up with as many people as you want, as long as ofcourse you are not lying to anyone and the other person also wants the same thing. As the great Rumi put it:

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

I think I have made my point but let me wrap this up by just saying a few last points. Firstly do not ever act out of guilt, that does no one any favours and plus you have no need to be guilty because no one has a right over what you choose to do. The only person that has that right is you. Secondly let go of your inhibitions, if you never try you will never know and you are not telling me that staying away and not showing your true feelings is a path that leads to no hurt and only joy. If that’s the case then do that by all means, but we both know that it’s not. Thirdly please get to know yourself, your true core. That’s the only way you will ever be able to judge who you will get along with and who you won’t.  The only way to get to know you is to have a little ‘me time.’ Go on a solo trip or just sit at home and read a book and disconnect yourself from the chaos around you and get lost in the beautiful chaos inside you, be the Alice of your wonderland and find yourself and trust me you will not regret. You are amazing just the way you are and anyone who tells you otherwise just does not matter. Shine like the universe is yours, because it is.  If you want to be held then you have to open your arms. Live life as if everything is totally in your favour.  Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment. Go all in and never hold back.