Coalesce

He started to whistle as he crossed the street. Today was going to be a good day he thought. It had to be. For far too long the days had been the same. He would wake up go to work get back and think about how different he wanted his life to be but then carry on anyway. But off late he felt a change in the tide he felt himself moving towards the life he hoped for, nothing significant had happened but the he saw little signs here and there growing ubiquitous and today there was a smell in the breeze (which usually made him think of all the pollution in the city and the garbage and even death on occasions) which reminded him of the open country and probably waterfalls and just everything related to nature for some mysterious reasons.  Today was going to be a good day he thought.

  She left his house in tears. It didn’t work again. She wanted him back so bad, he didn’t. It had been 11 months since they broke up, or rather since he walked out on her with another woman. That was a bolt from the blue, they had been planning their vacation and were due to leave in a week when suddenly he dropped this bomb.  She felt heartbroken, shattered and since then has been trying to win that guy back. He’s tried to blow her off by humiliating her, insulting her and abusing her but she would not go away.  This time it had been 7 months since they had spoken and she was taking one step forward but two steps back during this time with respect to moving on. So she decided to try one last time, maybe time had changed his feelings. They didn’t. Thus she left the house in tears. Today was going to be the same day as yesterday she thought.

  He was wearing his new Jacket today as he entered this café to pick up his favorite caramel flavored cold coffee. The smell of the café and the food that was being made got to him though and he decided to grab a bite. He ordered waffles and ice cream to go with his coffee. Today was going to be a good day he felt it, today was going to be a good day he thought. 

  As she was walking aimlessly on the street wiping her tears away thinking about how much time of her life she had wasted trying to get something which was never hers to begin with and how she failed to understand that and also wondering if after a few days, weeks or months she would end up doing the same thing again. She was tired of going after that person, then being heartbroken and repeating the same thing again. She needed a wind of change, something or someone to tell her that better days were coming. As she was walking along the footpath she saw a woman, maybe in her mid-thirties. She looked really very happy, she was walking along the road with her headphones on. She had this strange sense of magnetism about her and when she was looking at her she felt a kind of attraction towards this woman for a reason she was trying to find out. Maybe she just looked pretty in her beige overcoat with a grey scarf going over it, maybe it was the boots she was wearing or was it her exceptionally pretty smile? No. It was the fact that to her she seemed really happy without any person or thing causing that happiness, which is what attracted her.  It may very well be the case that she was going to meet her boyfriend and that’s why she was happy or for some materialistic reason, but to her at that moment she seemed happy without a cause and that triggered a switch somewhere deep inside her. She suddenly thought that one person who didn’t deserve the slightest place in her life could not dictate her happiness. She had a lot to be happy about, she was one of those who could keep her personal and professional life apart and was really doing well at work. It wasn’t also as if she wasn’t pretty. She was tall, fit and was quite aware of the fact that she’s attractive. Apart from that she knew she had really good qualities as a person and a lot of people would like being in her company. That was it, a switch had triggered and she was on her way, on her way to happiness and this time there would be no backward steps. Today was going to be a different day she thought.

  

She crossed a café she really liked and decided to treat herself for her new found and long overdue happiness.  As she was sitting at her table eating her food, suddenly something caught her eye. It was the corner table next to the window. A man was sitting alone going through his meal of waffles and ice cream. She had seen him somewhere, somewhere a long time ago. She tried hard to remember, while the man totally oblivious to this woman observing him continued to stuff his belly with his food, which he was more than enjoying.  Then it suddenly hit her that he was a person from her school but she still could not recall his name, partly because his face was slightly hidden behind a pillar. Then it all came like a wave.  His name was Sarthak; they had both shared a decent friendship back in the day which ended for a very stupid reason (like most high school friendships end). It was something on the lines of, he said xyz about her and she said abc about him and they were both told this by other people. So yeah, stupid to say the least. While she was drowned in her flashback, Sarthak had also seen her. Now as they both became conscious that they had seen each other they passed an awkward smile acknowledging each other. Seeing that they both were alone and now they probably had to talk a little atleast having recognized each other, he gestured her to come to his table and she awkwardly obeyed. Today was going to be weird day they began to think.

  

   It had been over 2 hours since they had been talking in that café. It began with the usual pleasantries of how they’ve been and what’s been going on. They then discussed why they had stopped talking for a reason which now seemed nothing less than laughable almost 8 years down the line. They gossiped about what their friends from back in school were upto. Time flew and it subtly hit both of them that even though they were never really the best friends kind of thing in school they did share a certain spark that made them instantly enjoy each other’s company. Sarthak asked her if she had the time they could take a walk around and continue their conversation. She had all the time in the world for something that took her mind off all the negativity she had been surrounded by recently and this was doing much more for her than that, she was actually having fun. So they split the bill and left the café for a walk around.

    Sarthak shifted the nostalgic nature of the talk to the here and the now. He asked her what she had been upto, and Nandini told him about her job, family, apartment, her love for cats and also for movies, basically everything barring her relationship. That was not something she wanted to revisit just yet.

    As they crossed a baker, enjoying the smell of fresh muffins, Sarthak told her about his job and how he was planning to get out of it. When asked what he planned to do, he told her he always wanted to be a writer and was going to give that a real push.  When pressed about if there was any particular stimulus which made him take the radical decision of quitting his job he answered “There was no particular stimulus as such, it was just that he was just so tired of misconceiving of what else his life could have been and he finally decided to act on it.”  They crossed a government building which was built in the early 20^th century and briefly shifted topic to admire the architecture before Nandini returned by asking him about how his love life had been.  Surprisingly to her he answered pretty readily telling her he had been in a couple of relationships which were nice at the time but they fizzled out with time. He then asked her the same question to which she said she will talk about that another time but when pressed a little she said she wasn’t involved with anyone presently.  Sarthak decided not to press the matter any further for now sensing the discomfort.

    They spoke for about 10 minutes more before she had to leave. They exchanged numbers though and decided to keep in touch. They both then went their respective ways. Today was a good day he thought. Today was a good day she thought; sometimes stars decide to reflect in puddles in the dirt she thought.

   They didn’t meet for a week post their impromptu meeting as they were occupied in their lives. They texted everyday though, talking about anything under the sun. They discussed music, movies, sport, politics, school days, philosophy and even reality TV. They finally did meet the next weekend and went out for a drink. Sarthak felt a sense of comfort around her and more importantly her take on how life should be was inspiring in a certain way. Her principle was simple, if something does not give you happiness then don’t do it. He had heard this cliché a million times before but it just somehow made sense when she said, maybe because she was the only one who followed it herself according to him. However that’s when Nandini told him about her relationship and how she struggled to deal with it. He thought that she was a girl symbolic of a paradox, as she herself in one of the most important areas of life was not getting happiness from something but did it for much longer than she should have, but then he guessed everyone has a weak spot and that’s just human nature, our wants sometimes blind our needs and happiness and that’s just normal. 

  They spent the evening drinking LIIT’s and talking about love and how relationships in modern times were increasingly becoming feckless and usually end with a feeling of rancor.  As the night went on they fell more and more in tune with each other. Its like their thoughts and opinions on most things were aligned. They felt really comfortable and happy around each other and could truly be themselves.  He offered to drive her home that night so that they could continue their conversation in the car and so they did. Old English songs from the late 90’s were playing ever so lightly in the background as the street lights lit up their path home. She felt as if she was really lucky that her ex turned her down that day, otherwise she would never had met Sarthak again and to him he would be just another douche from high school. Sarthak on the other hand had no qualms about admitting to himself that he was falling for this woman and hard. She was ever so encouraging about his idea of quitting his job and to pursue his dream to become a writer. He himself was sure that he needed to do that but they were understandably a lot of moments of self-doubt and whenever he spoke about the same to her she just said something that made his doubt seem quite stupid and petty. As he dropped her off that night, he wondered how Nandini felt and how she would react if he told her of his feelings. However he wasn’t one to keep things bottled up inside and decided that the next time they meet he would tell her hiws feelings for her. He did. That was a great day he thought.

   They spoke for the next two weeks everyday on the phone and via texts, and then the day came when they were going to meet and Sarthak decided to tell her evertything. They were in the car, going to have some breakfast, when suddenly Sarthak said. “ I need to say something to you.” “Yes, of course, Go ahead”. She replied. He tried to control the butterflies in his stomach, but gave up failing miserably and decided just to go for it. This is what he said.

   “I have thanked your ex-boyfriend everyday since the day we met at that café and probably will for the rest of my life. (Her eyes grew big and her facial expression was a very perplexed one). Not because of the nature of your relationship but because he refused to take you back (eyes grew bigger still).Because if he did take you back we would not have met and I would not have been the happiest man in the universe, that day started a virtuous circle for me and I hope it never ends (Eyes shrunk slightly, but her jaw dropped, it was hard for Sarthak to not be distracted by all this). I have fallen for you Nandini and I fall for you more each day, I can’t help it and I don’t want to also. I love being in love with you (still the same look).  I would do anything to keep you happy and to be with you for as long as I can. I don’t know how you feel and I will not pile on but I have to let you know how I feel. I love you. I love you more than anyone can love anyone. I would empty the ocean with a spoon for you and would do it over and over again if it gave you a smile. Praying, hiding my feelings, suppressing them or denying them won’t knock you out of my head. I will always be there whenever you call me, without reservation. Every cell in your body is worth it (awkward smile coming on). Your presence in my life is enchanting and I want you to enchant me for as long as possible. I’ll be anything you need; I’ll be everything you need and more. I want us to live these days that we’ve been having and I want to live them everyday. I prepared this speech and this how much I remember by the way so a response would be good now.” He saw the awkward smile grow wider still.

  It had been a month since they had been dating. He had just put in his papers at work and they were going to celebrate. They obviously decided to go to the same café where they met, which then started this series of events.  Through a series of random events, conversations, drives, dinners etc they somehow coalesced. That wasn’t a good day though, that was miraculous day the y thought.