It was a dark winter evening, I was with my
wife at the local market, my wife was pretty demanding.
I barely had
money to get along, yet the pressures of a falling marriage forced me to spend
every dime I had to please her.
She’s barely
looked at me for weeks; the only thing she wants of me is my money, which I
have little.
I hear my
pals talking about how their wives prepare supper when they get home.
I fail to
understand their happiness as when I get home all I see some leftovers from
lunch left on the table and I satisfy myself with that.
I have a 15
year old son; he is the most handsome boy on the planet. I believe he will do
great things.
Even though
I always try to help him with his homework, whenever I can’t do a particular
question I hear a range of abuses and things like “you’re the worst father, you
can’t even get me a leather jacket you old dement, it’s because of you we are
poor.” How do I get him clothes, when I myself am on the brink of selling mine?
When I try
to make love to my wife in a desperate attempt to reignite our love, she shoves
me away saying “I don’t want you near me! I still have a bit of youth in me,
the day I get a guy who can meet my needs better I will leave.
I am tired
of my life; I too want a wife who loves me, a son who respects me. Is that too
much to ask for?
So as I was
at the market, my eyes happened to wander across the street, they fell upon a
girl, a beautiful girl at that of about 20 years.
She was
hugging her lover goodbye, kissed him on the cheek and walked away. They
couldn’t take their eyes off each other till each went out the opposite ends of
the street.
I wondered
how dare she give such love to someone when I here am in desperate need of love
and all I get is dejection. Something inside me went mad with rage. I don’t
know why I left my wife and followed this girl not knowing why, but only that I
was angry.
I followed
her for the next 3 blocks. She was wearing black boots, a brown skirt which
fell a little above her knees, a brown jacket underneath which she wore a black
tee with a golden chain around her neck. She wore a black muffler. Her hair was
tied as a ponytail. Her skin was fair; she had a butterfly tattoo on her neck.
Her
appearance enraged me even more; I failed to understand how god can be so kind
to people and shower money and love on them and at the same time be so cruel to
me.
As she
approached the end of the third block there was an empty construction site,
this seemed the perfect place to ask her how she attained a perfect life. She
was on the phone, her tone made it seem like it was her boyfriend.
I lost all
control. I ran behind her, grabbed her from the waist as she let out a shriek
of fear, and dropped her phone, I could hear her love shouting “hello Jane?”
from the other end of the line as her phone hit the turf and went off. I put my
hand on her mouth as she tried to shout for help in vain. I carried her to the
parking lot of the construction site. It was dark, it was lonely, it was two
floors below the ground and the only sound one could hear besides the
struggling of Jane’s limbs was the sound of dripping water somewhere in the
background.
I slapped
her across the face and I told her I would let her go if she would answer my
questions. I shouted at her “ what did you do to get this life?” she stared
back at me with eyes of shock at what was happening with her and perplexed by
what a total stranger was asking her. When I removed my hand she screamed for
help. Not that it would help but yet I couldn’t take the chance, I kicked her
hard in the belly and punched her hard in the face. Her nose bled and she
started to cry helplessly, she tried not to howl as I would repeat the same if
she created any noise. I asked her the same question again; she failed to let
out any sound at all. That was it, I had to find other ways for her to give up
her secret of the perfect life.
I snatched
her muffler from off her body and used it to tie her hands against the pillar
which she was facing. I ripped her jacket off and threw it to the ground. I
told her I am asking her for a final time, I asked her to please tell me.
However she only continued to cry and beg for mercy. How could I be merciful,
when I myself was looking for mercy! I took out my belt and whipped it across
her back, I continued doing so and asking her to tell me. When I had whipped
her enough times so much so that her tee shirt tore at places and her back
bled, I knew I had to try another way. I ripped her tee in two. I pulled of her
skirt so that she was just in her underwear. I bent and gently kissed her back
and asked her to tell me wondering maybe love would do the trick. However again
she failed to answer.
I pulled
down my pants, I cut loose her underwear, I ran fingers over her naked body,
she is terrified and looks at me, her eyes making one last pathetic appeal for
mercy as they wept. I bent over her as my chest hovered over her back. I hurled myself into her from
behind, first slowly then gradually my thrust began to increase. I grabbed her
by the pony and started shouting, “tell me! Tell me!” she only let out screams,
I took no notice of them as no one from the outside world could hear her.
After an
hour or so I finally stopped all sweaty and frustrated as I still didn’t have
my answer. Then suddenly a cold sweat broke out! What had I done? Why did I do
it? As Jane lay unconscious in front of me, I was terrorized by the sight of
her! I couldn’t bear to look at her. I didn’t know what to do next. The
pressures of a so called family and life’s numerous failures and frustration
that had piled up inside over the years awakened the demon inside me.
I put my
pants on and ran up the parking lot on to the street without even looking back
at the naked Jane. I ran all the way home disgusted with myself. I apologized
to my wife for leaving so suddenly and promised to be a better husband; somehow
she let out a smile which made it seemed as if she believed me. Life may get
better I felt. Somehow I felt a strange sort of happiness in me.
I am the
demon inside a rapist.
p.s- please treat this as just a work of fiction. I am in no way supporting rape or rapists as I am totally against it myself. It is a disgusting crime, but it exists nonethelss and this is just a fictional story about it.
