First of all, I would like to apologize for my absence
from blogging for more than 3 months. However that had a reason, and due to
that all my energy was focused on that one event. This post talks about just
that and the people associated with my plight.
Recently I went through a
personal crisis and I am still not sure if I am completely over it but the
worst is surely over. Those who are close to me know to what I am referring and
some who are not so close too. However that is irrelevant, let’s just say I went
through hell and it’s safe to say I put a lot of people through hell. I was in
a constant state of limbo and was frustrated to a great extent and in my frustration
I vented out on different people in different ways. I would lose my cool and
shout at people, my tolerance level was almost zilch; I lost almost every essence
of my “good character”. Some people say I
dealt with it well, some say I almost let it drive me insane. According to me
both are right, I did deal with it well but I could have dealt with it much
much better. There are certain people who more than others bore the brunt of
this, even though they had nothing to do with my crisis which I myself brought
upon me. They stuck with me through thick and thin(mostly through thin because
they weren’t many happy days really). To them I have a lot to say. Here goes.
To
Nidhi:
I
owe you three things. I am sorry. Thank you. I love you. It’s the first thing that I need to talk
about the most. What fault did you have? None. Could you do something to change what happened? Nothing.
Did you try to help me though my hard times? More than tried. Then why did I put
you through hell? I have absolutely no idea, all I know is I didn’t want to,
but I had let frustration take over my mind and lost all control of my actions.
I was rude with you, I acted weird to say the least and you had no idea what
was going on. For that I am sorry again.
Could you have decided to
leave? Yes. Could you have been mean and rude like I was? Yes. Then why were
you kind, understanding and compassionate? I have no idea. For that I thank
you. You truly are amazing.
A day doesn’t go by when we don’t
meet up and yet we still amazingly are never bored of each other. Yes we may
get fed up and fight also maybe sometimes, but bored? Never. You are surely one
of the strongest girl I’ve ever seen and you also were my main source of strength
over these past few months. I love pampering you, paying you surprise visits
(SORRY!). I love shopping (which almost always ends up as window shopping in
our case) with you. I love driving on the jungle road with you, or getting
those cherry and cheese cupcakes for you, although I’m seriously considering
putting a halt to that looking at you, if you know what I mean. I love the
colony wali walks with those aunties
constantly talking about us, as if we are the only people in their lives. I love
the fact that you have absolutely no capability of becoming like that “aunty”
we saw yesterday. I hate the fact that I cannot sing when you’re in the car and
that you keep hitting me for no reason at all. I hate the fact that you want me
to two time. Although they have become a rarity now I do love the auto rides
with you. I love the fact that you’re so determined and you get what you want
because you don’t stop until you do. Basically I wanted to write a poem but I didn’t
want to put my other readers through the torture. So I would like to conclude
by saying that I don’t know what the future holds and all I can say is ill do
my best to make sure that things remain awesome between us and I love you
today, tomorrow but I don’t know about day after because your best friend is
after me for so long, I don’t know how much more I can resist. In all
seriousness you are the best thing that ever happened to me. Do me a favor? Stay.
p.s- your brother is so much
more cooler than you man, I would date him but he is straight.
To
family:
To you guys again I
am sorry for acting like I did over the past months, but as I said I wasn’t doing
it on purpose. I remember very clearly how you reacted when I told you of the
crisis that fell upon me, you just said “its ok, all you need to do is focus
now and make sure this event is not the one to which you look back and say “this
is what changed my life for the worse” but it changed my life for the better.” I
especially vented out on mom the most and said some really horrific things at
times and when I think back, disgust fills me up. Yet she was ever
understanding and as usual used to soothe my mad mind on each and every occasion
regardless of what I said to her. Dad also acted as if nothing had happened and
tried his best that my environment stayed completely normal yet from time to
time he gave me a reality check to ensure I didn’t stray off again. My sister
also bore the brunt of a lot of my mood swings and there was a time when I didn’t
speak to her for days and yet she tried her best to communicate. I love all of
you, thank you.
To
my friends:
Someone once said friends
are the family we choose. They couldn’t be more correct. My friends though may
have faced considerably less of my mood swings but they were always there for
me if I needed to speak to them. They never gave me sympathy, they never looked
down upon me and hence they too ensured that my environment stays as normal as
possible. Thus I thank you guys especially Palak, Aman, Ayush, Gur, Raj, Vrinda
and Abhishek. I love you guys.
Now that this crisis is over
I hope to get my life back on track. I still have an improbable amount of
catching up to do however if I even get half the support you people gave me
over the past months it should be cakewalk. Maddhav Dhir Kohli will now rise from the
ashes of these months gone by and I will make sure that this type of crisis
befalls me ever again.
